Loving Anxiety

Happy New Year from Charlie

Happy New Year
Although this is not the kind of topic that sounds very hopeful, I hope that you will find some hope in these words. I just finished reading an excellent  article titled Surviving Anxiety,My Anxious, Twitchy, Phobic ( somehow successful) Life by Scott Stossel, editor for the Atlantic Magazine.
Scott  comes out of the closet about his crippling anxiety by detailing how many unsuccessful attempts he made to stop these feelings. He ends up by saying that none of them worked  and in fact he believes that  his anxiety is his strength. Who would he be without his anxiety?

Who would all of us be without our anxiety. Anxiety actually helps us to feel compassion and kindness towards other. Only through our own pain, can we feel the humanity of others.
So take a moment to stop fighting and just accept your  anxious humanity.

Plan Ahead for Love in 2014

Turtle strategy-See opportunities all over the place

Thinking about 2014 and how much you  want to do it differently.  Great, then this is how you might strategize.

Reset Button

dragonfly's happiness

What if you made an agreement to behave in a certain way and you can't remember what it was about. Perhaps you agreed to always love your partner, and you wake up one day and that is no longer true. Or perhaps, in a past life, you made an agreement to live in poverty  and you can no longer remember why you made that promise.
I have encountered both of these scenarios in my life and in my practice. Have you recently heard friends and family talk about  making big changes because they are fed up?

Past life as a fairy, part 2

Fairy tree in the Park

In 2009, I wrote a blog post titled Past Life as a Fairy and I have had 680 views of that post. More people have looked at that writing than anything else that I have written. I find that amazing.
I really do believe in fairies and I also believe that that they are very sensitive.  Sometimes, when I am in my garden  I see a movement out of the corner of my eye or when when I am on walks, I will spot them in trees. Can you spot the fairy in the photo?  It was taken on a cloudy day when I was walking in Colonial Park about a month ago.

Wobbling

wobbling

As we explore doing things from our heart instead of our head, there is going to be some wobbling. During my personal training session at NYSC ( New York Sports Club) yesterday, Mike Tjo, described the wobble that happens when you do a new exercise. As I understood it, it takes awhile for the mind and the body to adjust to doing  something new and there is a wobble or jerkiness as the body learns how to do it.

What's under obligation?

Therapist's Helper- The Loon

As a followup to the last blog, if we are going to make clear headed decisions than it is important to figure out what is under  our sense of obligation. Obligations protect us from creating upset and it allows us to be safe go under the radar. I wonder if you are noticing that there are  many people now that actually love challenging the status quo.

Healing is on the front burner right now.

turtle love

I woke up to a rainy dark November morning and realized that it was time to walk my talk. Actually, it is time for all of us to be the change that we want to see in the world. For several weeks,  I have known intuitively that the issues that are surfacing right now are extremely  important to us.

Better Sleeping for All of Us, From Babies to Adults

Dream Fish

First of all, I think that sleeping is tricky. There are so many studies about the epidemic of poor sleeping. As adults, we are supposed to sleep between 7-9 hours a night and yet most of us do not get 6 hours of sleep.  There are a number of causes that  include but are not limited to: too much worry, technology, light stimulation, caffeine and sugar. and not enough of the outdoors.  Truly, how can we expect our babies and children to sleep better than we do.

Trust Yourself

Dragonfly Changes

I will shortly have two different blogs. One that will focus upon parenting and this one will continue with  unusual and sometimes out of the box  musings  on day to day things.
Sometimes, I sit still enough and can hear my unconscious talking to me about what to write . Today was one of those fortunate days.

Intentional Parenting

Heron silk

Why am I so interested in parenting? I have always believed that we have at least three choices as a parent. We can do it the same way as our parents, we can do it the opposite way or we can make our own choices. Over the 30 plus years in my practice,  I have noticed that  most parents choose to do it either the first or second way. Usually, by the time we become a parent, we are so  sleep deprived and working  so hard to keep our children safe and healthy that we don't have time to think about choices.

Climate change is happening and our kids are creating a different world

turquoise light

I just saw a youtube about  amazing cooperation between two opposing  basketball teams in Texas. There are so many examples of children and teens doing things differently. They are choosing to be cooperative instead of competitive.  They are choosing to be peaceful instead of warlike. I am so grateful. It has always been part of my belief system that these new generations are offering us a new way of conceptualizing and living in our world.
Please check out the youtube Basketball Miracle

Parent- Child Talks, How to Grow a Healthy Adult?

parenting whimsy

When our kids were young, we had wonderful vegetable gardens. We worked hard at growing tomato's, beans, and zucchinis. We did not think that we were growing seedlings but  instead focused upon the ripe tomato or zucchini.
So I would like you to imagine that you are growing adults right now.

Parenting puppies and babies

Parenting puppies

I am so pleased to have so many folks read my last couple of blogs . Thank you.
As you can see from the last post, we have a new 10 week old puppy named Charlie. He moves so fast that my iPhone camera cannot keep up with him and all the photos are  pretty blurry....

Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, Millenials and Indigos

Charlie, our new puppy

I did some quick research about the birth dates for the generations that are called the Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, The Millenials or Indigos
It looks like this:
Baby boomers were born between 1946-1964
Gen Xers were born between 1965-1980
Gen Yers were born between 1980-2005
Indigos were born between 1980 -2005
Millenials were born between 1980-2005

New Kids and the Millenials

As a follow up to my last blog, I would like to list some characteristics that seem  to be descriptive  of many of the children and young adults under the age of 25.

Horsefly

They appear to be wiser than their young years.

They often tell the truth whether anyone will listen to them or not.

The Now(New) generation, illusion or real?

chakra fish

I am excited to begin to talk more about the quiet powerful  energy that is quietly changing our world. You may not know it yet but your children and grandchildren are bringing about much needed changes to our families, our schools, our communities and to the planet.

Gloucester vacation

Gloucester, Ma

I just returned from a wonderful vacation in Mass.  I really like living in NJ most of the time. I have been offered many opportunities for a good life. When I moved East from California about 32 years ago, I was not nearly as gracious about the state. I felt that it was really hard to meet new people and that it took years to make friends.

It's not my fault...

Dragon breath

Bear with me while I write out loud what I have been thinking about. Recently, I remembered a childhood story that brought up the feelings of everything is my fault.  At sixteen, my mother remarried and the family moved out of Brooklyn to Rockland County, NY. It was a very difficult move especially since I was beginning my senior year in the suburbs.... Anyway, there was a rather steep hill outside of our new home and my parents brought us a tobaggan. During one of the first big snows, my sister and I got on the tobaggan at the top of the hill after watching all of the local kids whiz down it.  I did not want to go down but one of the adults said that it would be fine.

What am I afraid of? It is not just the toboggan. Part 2

We don't trust ourselves. I did not trust myself to say no to the tobaggan run that day. I have second guessed myself and everyone around me for a very long time and it t is time to stop.  It  is true that it isn't easy to be authentic in this world and really share what we feel and think. However, everything else brings us too much stress and unhappiness.
Interesting link by Pema Chodren titled What am I afraid of?

All You Need is Love and Global Warming

purple iris

It is so hot right now in the North East. It is too early for such intense heat and  everyone is beating themselves up by using the buzzword of global warming right now. The weather   is definitely about what we have been doing or not  been doing for our planet in the past fifty years. And, it is not helpful to beat ourselves up about it.

Spring Flowers and Personal Growth

Peonies in NJ

The weather this year has been quite erratic and unpredictable.You might want to check out this link for the connection between the current weather and spiritual growth. cosmic weather report

Divine Timing

Butterfly tee

I  am in the process of creating a new venture of hand painted clothing. I love painting and it is wonderful to see the art on people. It is as if a beautiful part of me gets worn by someone else. A couple of days ago a friend asked me to paint butterflies on a t shirt for her.

Divine Neutrality

Beginnings

It feels like everyone is talking about all of the craziness that has been going on for the past weeks. It is almost expected to hear about another train collision, shooting, fire or death. It is so surprising that we can adapt to the new now.

Spring and gratitude for breast Cancer

purple iris

This spring is so beautiful.  I don't know if it is because the winter felt so very long or it was the continuing fallout  of Hurricane Sandy. Whatever, it is I am so grateful for  the string of  beautiful and  sunny NJ days that we have been experiencing. There are no mosquitos, an abundance of flowering trees and green growth everywhere. I just want to be outside all of the time. I want to eat vegetables and fruits and live a balanced healthy life for ever. And yet sometimes that is not enough.

Mom & Me & Mom

Purple fish

I just finished listening to  a wonderful autobiography by Maya Angelou, called Mom & Me and Mom.  I loved that the book was read in her own sonorous voice.  As you can imagine, Maya spoke about what it means to be a mother.

Spring and Beautiful smells

Most weekday mornings, I try to go for a walk with Pixie, our 11 year old Golden Retreiver. She usually gives me  clear messages that it is time to go out. She often will not eat breakfast because she is afraid that I will leave without her. Sometimes I have but it was because it was just too hot or too much poison ivy on the tow path. She has definitely learned to be wary of my sudden exits out of the door.

Cherry Prinsepia

However today, she had her breakfast and  we did go for a walk in the Perennial Garden at Colonial Park.

Changes and New Beginnings, part 2

Spring

While I was in England,  I thought about how I would shift things once I returned to NJ. I flew back to NJ last  Tuesday and began working again on Wednesday. I have  once again decided to change  my psychotherapy practice by offering two hour sessions when needed instead of the regular weekly meetings. After 30 years of being a psychotherapist,  I have  noticed  that  deeper healing work is more effective when you meet for a longer time and less often.

Time away and new beginnings

Mom and Baby Ben

I have just returned from a three week trip to Northern England to visit my new grandson,Ben. I had been warned that holding him was going to be an amazing experience and I could not even imagine the feeling.  Well, it is true. I loved holding him and looking into his enormous blue eyes. I did not think that I would become  the Grandmother that would pull out my i phone and share the camera roll either and I am doing that. Oh well, I am okay with all of it. So this is a quick sketch  from my camera roll on my iPad.

Inspirations and life's lessons

Flowing Water

This was a beautiful video about the power of believing in oneself. We are all aware  that we  have many challenges to face during our life times. It looks as though some folks have a harder time than we do  and some have an easier time.  It is easy to think that there is nothing that we can do to change a bad marriage, a chronic disease, an unhappy childhood but I don't think that is true.

Nothing is what it appears to be

spirits

We think that we know what is really going on. We think that we know what is happening before we even show up. I went to do a presentation at the Manville Senior center on Dreams. I really enjoy going to speak to these folks and apparently they enjoy it as well. I often have the same folks coming each time just to hear what I will say. Today we started out talking about Dreams and somehow we ended up talking to about  the sightings  departed spirits.

The Troublemaker

butterfly wings

Are you a troublemaker in your life? Do you feel like you are always stirring things up for your family and friends. I certainly feel that way. I often feel that my observations   bump people right  out of their comfort zone. I  think that my husband Nat thinks that I am. I can see the expression on his face  of why can't we just enjoy the moment. I feel like I have always had this function.  I really understood it more clearly after watching this youtube The Troublemaker, by Pema Chodren.

Pema talks about how the spiritual teacher/ friend is supposed to stir up trouble  to help others move along on their path. I love teaching people about  healing and  spirituality and how  it all fits into the bigger picture. Sometimes, in the process, I rearrange the bigger picture or add a new piece of information  and then it is trouble.
So if you find yourself plagued by a troublemaker in your life, please say thank you to them.

May I have the Courage to create my own art?

fairy queen

May I have the courage today

To live the life that I would love,

To postone my dream no longer

But do at last what I came here for

And waste my heart on fear no more.

by John O'Donohue

Do you have arty genes?

dragonfly on a pocket t

When is the last time that you used your hands in a creative way? Today, last week or maybe it was when you were a child. I loved to draw when I was in grammar school and then again after college and then again when I turned 50. There were too many blank spaces that were filled with a craving to be creative but no action. I talked myself out of being creative and felt that everyone else had the arty genes except for me. My husband as a photograher, my sister as a knitter, my mother as a writer and pianist, and the list went on and on.

Changes for 2013 and My New Beautiful Website

Butterfly Movements 

This is the year of big changes. Most of us have  an uneasy relationship with change. We look forward to it and then hate it once it is happening. When my youngest daughter was 5 or 6,  I remember knowing that  the end of our vacation would be announced by very loud  temper tantrums. She hated the change. When I was in my twenties, I lived the hippie lifestyle and  I moved or traveled  every 6-12 months to a new location. I always felt very unsettled and never very safe.
So no matter how we handle change, this is a year for great shifts. We have all been feeling the tremendous, political, climatic,  and economic and emotional   changes  going on. It is hard to not feel them.  So what do we do to manage the changes.

What if?

dragonfly swarm, summer of 2012

What if everything that we thought that we wanted we did not really want. What if the things that we did not want we really wanted. What if everything was turned upside down.
We are so sure that we want extreme success and yet it comes with enormous exposure and responsibility. What if we  were always happy, what would we do when we become unhappy for the first time.What if every thing  that we encountered  in our lives, we had this tremendous ambivalence about.