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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Parenting, does the worry ever end?

the night sky
We absolutely never stop parenting, do we? I remember the first time that I felt this giant child envy. A close friend was installing a car seat in her car for her soon to be  baby and I went  into utter despair. I remember feeling  that this will never happen to me. I also remember having lots of talks with Therapist friends and colleagues  about the ethics of counseling parenting when you weren't a parent. Of course, there is no clear cut answer but I did know for sure that I did not really know about the truth about parenting. I had never had the heart ache or the heart love of my  own  child. I had never gone through the night waking up every hour because they were sick and you were nervous about sleeping too deeply. I had never had to deal with a real live tantrum in a supermarket where you simply want to disappear through the meat counter and never go shopping again.

Now we have two grown children and we are still worried about their safety and  health. Our youngest daughter had a serious throat infection and high fever over the weekend. We had to go to the medical emergency center   late last  night and I was really worried about her.  .  Now, I can trust a little more  that things will  be all right . I know that my mother at 86 still gets a catch in her voice when I tell her that I have been ill. Parenting has both a  light and  shadow side  to it. As parents, we prefer the light and the joy but the shadow brings us together more powerfully.
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