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Friday, June 16, 2017

Trouble talk v. troubling talk

Frog Clearing

Debra Tannen states that
"Troubles talk is a conversation where women share their moments of frustration and irritation but without expecting a solution. Men, on the other hand, find it very hard to listen to such talk without wanting to help, and provide problem-solving".

I am wondering if the solution lies somewhere in the middle. I am  going to shift the focus away from gender  to simply folks talking to each other. 

Trouble talk- when we talk as though our problems were created by someone else. We do not understand what role we played in the creation of them. We love to  complain, rant and rave at others for hours at a time.

Troubling talk - we  talk about how in the present moment we are fully aware that we have created our current difficulties. We tell the truth about how troubling they are and clearly look at the  inherent lessons.
And then we take action. This is the most important part. 

We are all familiar with both men and women that continue to talk about the struggles with our current political regime as though we did not personally have a hand in creating it. Or how did we get into this  emotionally abusive marriage? Or I hate my job and I have nothing to learn from it?

What if every situation gives us amazing lessons and the quicker that we learn them, the more quickly we can shift into a happier, more contented place. Troubling talk works because we take an action step and begin to see real  movement  in our lives. What is troubling you today and what step can you take to clear it up?
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