Clothing and Teens? What are they saying by what they wear?

Teens often talk about their intentional clothing choices in my therapy sessions. They explain that what they wear is an important way of communicating who they are.  I had a client who said that she would were the same jacket to school everyday of the year. Another one had purchased a beautiful red prom  dress and now could no longer connect with it. She worried about not being beautiful enough to carry it off. Or someone else, who could only wear clothes that were a certain fabric or style. If they wore the uncomfortable piece of clothing, they would be stressed all day. Another student said that she  wore  perfectly matched colors and meaning-full t-shirts for the day's activities.

Flower earrings at Selby gardens

I know that I have my own quirks about clothing. I won't wear clothing with tags that are left in, It annoys me. I sometimes wear the same pants for days in a row because it is what feels good to me. I won't wear wool unless it is below zero temperature . I don't like anything too tight or constricted on my legs, it makes me claustrophobic. I like wearing pinks and turquoises and don't like yellows and browns. I don't like wearing name brands labels on the clothing. And the list goes on and on. It all has meaning for me and I rarely say these things out loud 

As adults, we are  focused upon getting our children and teens  to fit in and accommodate to spoken or unspoken dress codes. Perhaps we are losing an important conversation by not asking and listening to their answers.