The Shape of Water

Last night my friend and I  saw the movie the Shape of Water. I loved it while my friend hated it. 

She seemed to see it as a confirmation that nothing ever changes and I saw the oppposite.  Everything is aways changing.

When I was in my twenties, I believed in the magic of love. I believed that I could make a difference in the world. I could live better by making more conscious choices in my diet, environment, work and relationships. 

In my thirties, I hit the decade where I morphed into being untrustworthy. In do not trust anyone over thirty. It was a ridiculous thing to say since gratefully we all turned 30. It set up a duality that lasted  for decades. I did not trust myself  fully to make the right decisions.

I married and had two babies and  I thought by feeding them healthy food, being good parents, being a good wife  that we were making a difference. 

In my forties and fifties I worked really hard to prove that I had accomplished this dream of being conscious.

in my sixities, i realized that I had left msyelf out of the equation. I realized  that i am not fully consciou if i don't love myself. i did not take care of myself first but rather tended to everyone else  

I really wanted to have a marriage where I was understood and  happy. I wanted someone to see the deepest parts of me. The parts that never stopped being curious and growing and wanting new experiences. My ex husband and I  stopped doing that for each other a long time ago and had never found a way to communicate  through this unhappiness. 

I really liked the movie The Shape of Water because it showed a new way of creating relaionships. The Amazon Water God and the Mute Maid  create an unusual  and passionate love in the 1960's. They create life/love  together in a new way. Loving the other because they are complete in their own right. Cinema often copies life. Movies are  often  a portal into new possibilities. I am looking forward to seeing the dramatic ways  that love changes us in 2018. Heres to LOVE.