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| transformation and clarity |
Some of the reasons are:
....we don't want people to dislike us...
...we really like to be helpful to everyone...
...it is anxiety provoking to say no...
....social work and psychology have a built in predisposition to help others no matter how we feel....
...religious and cultural bias states it is selfish more emotional and compassionate...
...we don't want people to dislike us...........
I am sure that there are many other reasons. However, what is more important is what do we do to change this pattern . I feel that it is simply saying one no at a time. Because if we don't say no, we get angry and feel like we are being taken for granted. When we do say no and really mean it, we have so much more clarity and self confidence.
So, it takes three weeks to change a habit and I have already completed my first day. What creative ways have you learned to say no to the important things and people in your lives.
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ReplyDeletethanks for your comments. I love the feedback.
ReplyDeleteSuch a simple word, but soooo hard to say! I know that I definitely struggle with it, but I am getting better. I like the idea of working on it a day at a time--make it less overwhelming. I read a book a few months back by Dr. Gabor Mate called "When the Body Says No". Basically, he says that it is a radical form of self-care to say "No" instead of "Yes" and cautions that those who chronically deny their own needs in favor of pleasing others end up sick. In other words, our body says "No" because we can't. One major takeaway for me was this: If the choice is between saying "yes" and then feeling resentful vs. saying "no" and feeling guilty, Dr. Mate says we should choose guilt over resentment every time because resentment is hands down THE most damaging emotion to our bodies.
ReplyDelete